


Coffee by Any Other Name

by Whistle_Mist



Series: Bat Family Bingo 2019: Whistle Mist Card [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Coffee, Gen, Humor, Tim Drake-centric, Tim ends up in a world with out coffe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 09:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18518560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whistle_Mist/pseuds/Whistle_Mist
Summary: Batfam Bingo Prompt: Coffee!Tim gets stuck on an Earth where they've never heard of coffee.





	Coffee by Any Other Name

“You don’t have what?” Tim turned around to look back at this world’s Batfam. “You don’t have coffee in this universe?!” 

“I have no idea what koofei is, but nope!” Dick grinned shrugging sorry. “We have soda or lemonade, do you like Gibba? We have that.”

“I don’t want any of that I need coffee, I’ve been up for two days and I need to find a way to get home!” Sighing Tim looked back at the bat computer that this Bruce was typing on. “Anyway, I can get home within the next few hours?” 

“No. Our Tim is stuck in your universe until we can set up a portal to get you both back to where you belong without having you turn inside out.” 

“Yeah, sounds painful,” NOdding Tim tapped his foot. “Are you sure you don’t have coffee in this world?” 

“Positive.” 

“I can’t breath,” Tim took a few deep breaths slowly holding his head. “Oh god, the caffeine withdrawals is gonna be a bit-” 

Bruce glared at him. 

“- Never mind. But it’s not gonna be fun!” 

\--

“Do not touch it,” Tim growled at this Jason. “If you do I will bite you.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jason glared as he watched the teen, who was wrapped up in a blanket tapping his finger on a tablet. “And relax I was just gonna check something.” 

When a hand reached over Tim stabbed Jason with a fork, not hard enough to bleed but well enough for it to hurt a lot. 

“F***!” Jason yanked his hand back. “You little pyscho-” 

“ToUcH mY tAbLeT aGiAn AnD i WiLl BuRy YoU aLiVe~”

Stepping back quickly Jason looked him over for a long moment. Something told him that on any other day he could easily snap at this kid with no problem but the aura coming off him was sending his instincts a very crystal clear sign of ‘STAY AWAY.’ 

“Hey everyone!” Dick walked in, he had an odd cup with him, it was in the shape of a triangle as well as a grip on it. He took a sip. “Hey, Other Timmy! Want a drink of gibba?” 

“NO.” Tim hissed as he continued to try to do his work on getting himself home. If only he had coffee he could think. Of course, the only reason he was here trying to speed it along was that he was desperate for coffee. A caffeine pill did nothing! “I can’t believe this shit.” 

“What?” Dick asked taking a drink. “It’s only for a little while, ya know.” 

“Oh shut up, your whole stupid world doesn't have coffee. I can’t find one clue on if it ever existed!” 

“You gotta let that coffee thing go. Whatever it was it sorta sounds like a drug,” Jason leaned against the counter scowling. He snagged the gibba from his brother taking a long drink. “If you can find that crap why not just stop until you finding something similar?” 

“I’ve been looking, nothing comes close,” Tim grumbled as he sighed closing the tab before opening another one. He was going to find something that could help him get through and if it is going home or finding something even a little bit like coffee he’d be okay. “Ugh, any update on getting home?!” 

“Not yet, soon maybe,” Dick stretched. “Welp, see ya later, I’m heading out!” 

\--

“Father,” Damian said eyes looked very much unamused and done. “The other Drake is hiding under the couch mumbling about death and kaffie beans. Make it stop.”

“What?” Bruce frowned getting up as he followed his son only to find that was exactly what the other Tim was doing. He was hiding under an old vintage couch from the early eighteen hundreds mumbled as he looked like he was going crazy. The couch had a good foot and a half of space under it. Leaning down he paused. “Tim. Do you need something?” 

“I need to have coffee,” Tim sobbed curling up more into the blanket he had been dragging around with him since he had gotten here. “Or maybe I’ll just lay here and die. Tell my family I love them…”

“Alright,” Bruce reached down pulling him out. “Let’s get you something with sugar it in that might help you.” 

“Sugar can’t help me now, Bruce. It’s over,” Tim sniffled as he let out another sob. “It’s too late not even cake can save me know… unless it is coffee cake…” 

“We don’t have that,” Damian frowned. “Are you sure it is not a drug?” 

“If you hold a pillow over my face it will only take five minutes, less if I struggle,” Tim whined. 

“No,” Bruce took him to the kitchen letting him sit at the table to mope. “I’ll get something with a lot of caffeine. That should help a little bit.”

“Nothing can help me now, it’s only a matter of time…” Tim moaned out miserably before taking out a batarang and handing it to the other Damian. “Finish me off. My throat’s right here.” 

“Tt.” Damian stepped back before turning to leave. “This is your problem, Father.” 

“Of all the times that a Damian’s doesn't want to kill me it has to be today!?” 

Sighing Bruce took out some aspirin as well as ordering something with a lot of caffeine to help sooth this… withdrawal.

\--

Holding his triangle cup Jason sipped the gibba as he watched the portal start to open. It was about damn time. As much as he didn’t mind one of his brothers having a blast in another world he was ready to have Tim back and just get rid of this poor soulless Tim who now had no caffeine of his koffie in him. 

Now that Tim looked pale, as well as having been asleep for almost two days straight, which made him wonder what the hell they drank over there. In any case, he was ready to have the family go back to how they used to be. 

Plus that little ass kept stabbing him with a fork. 

When the portal opened the other Tim came right in happily holding a coffee cup in his hand. Going right up to his counterpart he handed it to him giving him an odd look.

“Geeze, what did you guys do to him?!” 

“Oh god,” Tim took the cup sipping it from the top at first, “Coffee!” 

“You can have it,” His counterpart said. “Although, I have no idea what it was when I was over there. It had such a strange name.” 

“Yeah, you guys have no coffee here, it sucks,” Tim popped the lid starting to down it the warm liquid. It was nearly full, maybe going through the portal had made it cool off. Still, he savored the taste, the feeling and how it filled his soul with hope once again. “Mmm, I wish I could drink five more of these. I hadn’t had any since I came here.” 

“Why?” The other Tim frowned looking confused. “We have a lot of it but we call it by it’s a normal name.” 

“...I’m sorry, what?” Tim frowned his mind freezing. “You have coffee here?!” 

“Yeah, but it’s call Gibba.” The other Tim put his hand on his hips. “From Gibba seeds.” 

There was a long moment of silence before Tim screamed. “Are you kidding me?! I’ve been here a week and the coffee was called Gibba?! WHO THE HELL NAMED IT THAT?!” 

Going on Ranting Jason picked up the teen slinging him over his shoulder. “I’ll take him back.” 

“I’ll kill them! I’ll bring them back from the dead and set them on fire, again and again, and again! How dare they call it gibba seeds that freaking bastard!” Tim kept screaming as he was carried through. “Just wait till I find his body!!!” 

Just then Alfred came in with a tray of triangle cups. “Gibba is ready.”


End file.
